DESPITE MY PAIN AND SUFFERING, I AM A PROUD MARINE!
As a war veteran of merit, I distinguish myself as a messenger of a deed gone unnoticed; however, I refuse to speak for others. Instead, this comment for sure is one of universal acceptance in that we all lived it. Upon my return from Vietnam, there were no fanfares or ticker-tape parades. There were no acknowledgments that distinguished us as heroes or patriots. Still, some critics and mockers pledged our guilt and condemned what we stood for, not only as military soldiers but as the American people.
For me, this lackluster return ruined me and brought about added memories of contempt, fraud, and deceit. These distinct characteristics are dishonor labels, which fuel my rage and my sense of loyalty to a country that displayed no commitment in return. The pain and suffering combat soldiers endured spurred this insatiable use of drugs or alcohol to cope. These ideals are beyond comprehension, yet we fought on and continued to suffer quietly within the private space of our minds, my mind.
Scorned as we were, the American people referred to us as baby-killers and spat at us in airports. To experience yet another letdown in measure was, in many ways, worse than Vietnam. What this taught me early was that evil exists in all places—not being accepted in your own country, where do you belong? Who do you turn to when the turning becomes continuous without escape? Where is the model of compassion and loyalty? Who can I cry to or bear my soul? Whose shoulder can I lean on for comfort? What can I do 50 years later that can end this nightmare and render me a peace settlement? These nightmares carry many questions I cannot answer, but I am determined to shine from the inside out.
This Article was Last Updated On: October 19, 2025
The ugly side of any war leaves in its wake an erosion of the human spirit. Trying to hold on to any semblance of hope requires an intentional measure of resolve. That resolve must be consistent unless you give up the fight.