Men don’t talk, but women speak without shame or the risk of criticism. A mistake black men have made over many years is to remain silent during times of need, feeling they can work through their problems or that the problems will go away. When discussing problems or sharing personal feelings, men smother the thought of venting their frustration. Not talking amongst themselves or seeking counsel leaves men naked in a constantly changing world where unspoken words become forgotten acts to encourage healing. Men, unlike women, have many vehicles to vent and discuss their problems without the threat of judgment, criticism, or shame, but seldom do they utilize everything available to them to broaden their scope of reason and possibility. So, being quiet never opens the door to the freedom of expression. If no one knows what you’re feeling and why, the help you quietly seek will never happen.
As I have hosted many workshops on this subject, I introduce personal questions encouraging men to answer.