As parents, we often make the mistake of not allowing our children to grow up and, instead, want them to think and act as we do. Call it fear, bias, or projecting old beliefs; every young adult deserves the right to make their own decisions and to have their opinions heard and respected. As adults, we tend to forget that we were once young, engaging in the same acts of aggression, experiencing the same bouts of anger, and wanting to do what everyone else was doing. As I agree that many parents want to give their children what they didn’t have, parents must also realize that this is a new time for a new generation, and making mistakes based on their decisions is not a bad thing, provided they learn from it.
While raising our children, we try to provide the best counseling and advice to give them the mental tools to assess situations responsibly. As parents, they must trust the learning process, as long as the child doesn’t make mistakes that he can’t recover from. So, the child’s impact as they grow and mature will prevent costly errors that could affect the rest of their lives.
Over the years, I have counseled young people who resented their parents simply because their parents wouldn’t listen. With this resentment, the child sought to rebel by finding other ways to cope and survive the household’s hurt. When this occurs, the only things left are friction and a divided living environment.